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The Secret Love Child of Marilyn Monroe and JFK

Keepin' It Crunk

3/2/06 11:26 am

Existence existence existence. My stomach is made out of rubbery acid that is always hungry and quickly full. I am under the biggest dragon puppet in the world, maybe even in the Universe. It's so hard to breakdown during the day but it's quite easy when it's dark. My head feels empty, and I don't think I was ever born with a heart. I think the doctors put a pacemaker in me right after I was born. The contents in my head feel like spicy oatmeal. The other night I was thinking about the human imagination. What if it's more powerful than we think? What if books don't have any words in them and we just make them up and come up with these elaborate stories on our own? That can't be the case though, because everyone knows the story of Huckleberry Finn. Life is really irritating right now, and what makes it even worse is that I have no reason to hate it. I just do. I hate whining. But too fucking bad. At any moment I feel like I can just throw up. I wouldn't want to throw up on my keyboard because then I'd have to buy a new one and I don't like driving my station wagon that much. I wrote my elevator speech. Its pretty good and I was very enthusiastic about it on Tuesday. I told my teacher how inspiring it was to write it and how excited it made me feel about what I do. She was glad to hear that. Now today I have to read it and I've lost all inspiration and excitement. I don't care about it anymore. Maybe I shouldn't go to class. That would make me feel worse though. I hate everything I do. Something needs to change.

2/23/06 01:54 pm

We're supposed to write a 2 minute artist's plan that we would tell someone on the elevator. Something short, compassionate, and to the point. That's cool and all, but I'm kinda planning on being dead in the next 5 years. I now have a very stereotypical haircut.

2/9/06 11:25 am

Last night when I was asleep I went to this school with stairs and fireman's poles. I was pulled out of class because apparently I sat in some dump that belonged to a dead person. So I had to slide down this pole and be interrogated by the police. They thought I killed him. I just told them that the school swing set is a dirty place to sit. Then before I knew it I was at my old house on Edison street and I had this long skinny cat that was white with light brown and dark brown patches on it and it would slip through the tiny mailbox slot on our backdoor. We taped the door down so it wouldn't climb out ever again. But it sure kept trying. Then a sudden wind blew like in Mary Poppins. It was freezing. Then Cameron was reclined on the sofa and he said "Hug me." So I hugged him to stay warm. "No, lets hug like this," he said. So I climbed on top of him and just laid there awkwardly trying to keep an eye on my slinky cat. Then he said, "Lets kiss to keep our mouths warm." So we started to make out but he had two tongues. One was moving around and the other one was pulling my tongue down his throat. It was horrible. I felt like Reba McIntire in Tremors when the tremor was trying to pull her down. Then my brother Anthony yelled from outside "You guys HAVE to look at this." His face was tilted up, staring at the rooftop, his eyes were pink and watery. He looked stunned. So we went outside and looked up on the rooftop. At first I couldn't tell what it was. It looked like a deli landed on our house and every meat you can imagine was scattered all over. But it was a mangled human. A man had fallen on our roof and was cut in half, the top half diving into the roof and his skin peeled off his muscle.I could see his head burried in our shingles- it looked like he was wearing one of those hats with the fake mullet hair built in. His severed waist was up in the air like a fleshy antenna. His lower body was scattered all over the rest of our roof. I saw his hip bone covered in intestines and blood.

12/24/05 11:47 pm

I found all 10 horses yesterday. I've been trying to find the tenth one all week and finally I did. I thought I would have felt more glorious than I do. But I guess I've learned that there are other things more fullfilling than finding all 10 horses. When I get bored a grab my hair and wrap it around my neck as if a stringy brown python was introducing me to my demise. But since my hair isn't long enough to go all the way around I just stick it in my mouth and delicately chew on it. It can get really crunchy.

11/28/05 12:30 am - How Am I Not Myself?

How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself?How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself?

11/18/05 05:48 pm

You start to feel like your life has amounted to nothing once the only email you get in awhile says, "Join the Belisi Necktie Club!" Maybe its a form of code, a subliminal message. Maybe my computer is telling me to follow the white rabbit.

11/3/05 01:42 am

I'm tired of people with sassy ass journal entries about how they hate the world. Everyone's heard it. No one cares. Its not interesting or insightful. Those type of entries never impress anyone or ignite anything but pity.

11/2/05 12:45 am

Do you ever feel that when you're not looking in the mirror, your face takes on Picasso-esque shapes? Like your face is distorted and people see you that way. Sometimes I picture myself that way. Sometimes I think of myself having a Liam Neeson nose or just a Liam Neeson face in general and that my teeth turn this yellow gray color and that my eyelids fold over my eyes. What if your brain was scattered around your whole body and lived in all of your pores? And to get a labotomy you'd use Biore pores strips on your nose to rip part of your brain out?
I think the worst thing in the world would be chewing your own front teeth out.

10/19/05 05:59 pm - China Chairs

Usually when you see a person in a wheelchair you think, "Person in a wheelchair person in a wheelchair person in a wheelchair person in a wheelchair..." and stare at their tiny little legs, and maybe watch their buff arms, slightly tanned from the sun because Van Tran kept them waiting in the sun for 45 minutes. But anyway you look at their arms pushing their own weight and admire their athleticism and then look at your own arms and think "Shit I can WALK to the gym and work out and I still don't have as good as arms as they do." Or something along those lines.
But today my gaze was different. I was sitting a the Fat Greek restaurant on University and Park and as the strong taste of the feta punched my tongue I saw the weirdest wheelchair girl in this history of campus cripples. I'll call her China Chair. She was this cheery ass Asian girl with long brown hair talking REALLY loudly on her cell phone in her pimped out electric chair. Haha electric chair sounds kinda bad. Her electric-powered chair. She was going pretty fast and her little legs were dangling and kicking like a hungry baby in a stool. Her hand kept missing the controls for her chair and she jaggedly swerved off course in the middle of the crosswalk then she put the pedal (or wheel?) to the metal and shot through to the other side of the street with her long brown locks trailing behind her in reaction to momentum. As she finally made it to the other side she cut in front of these two girls. Her technique reminded me of Bruce Willis' driving in Die Hard 4. She was unstoppable and on a mission- to cross the street. When she finally parked her chair she yelled on the phone, "OK I'M HERE SO I'LL JUST...WAIT." I mean what else was she gonna do? Wheel in to Divas and try some clothes on? I don't think so.

9/24/05 02:25 am

I think I'm inlove with my therapist.
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