3/2/06 11:26 am
Existence existence existence. My stomach is made out of rubbery acid that is always hungry and quickly full. I am under the biggest dragon puppet in the world, maybe even in the Universe. It's so hard to breakdown during the day but it's quite easy when it's dark. My head feels empty, and I don't think I was ever born with a heart. I think the doctors put a pacemaker in me right after I was born. The contents in my head feel like spicy oatmeal. The other night I was thinking about the human imagination. What if it's more powerful than we think? What if books don't have any words in them and we just make them up and come up with these elaborate stories on our own? That can't be the case though, because everyone knows the story of Huckleberry Finn. Life is really irritating right now, and what makes it even worse is that I have no reason to hate it. I just do. I hate whining. But too fucking bad. At any moment I feel like I can just throw up. I wouldn't want to throw up on my keyboard because then I'd have to buy a new one and I don't like driving my station wagon that much. I wrote my elevator speech. Its pretty good and I was very enthusiastic about it on Tuesday. I told my teacher how inspiring it was to write it and how excited it made me feel about what I do. She was glad to hear that. Now today I have to read it and I've lost all inspiration and excitement. I don't care about it anymore. Maybe I shouldn't go to class. That would make me feel worse though. I hate everything I do. Something needs to change.